Oh What A Weekend...

Originally, I had no plans for this past Memorial Day Weekend. e.g. no money. So, I decided to stay home and paint and sew and get to know my creative side better. I was very optimistic about "alone time." Yoshi left on tour and my roomie was off with her guy, so, it would be just me for 3 whole days. But, it never works that way...

On Saturday morning, my sister convinces me to drive to Redding, California for our "cousin's" wedding shower (this girl is one of the hippie kids and so, my family). I agreed when I realized that I haven't been home for 5 months and had even missed my mom's first real art show. I am such a sucky daughter. Luckily, I got a camera phone, so, I can share with everyone how I remembered the American troops.


I got up and was ready to go at noon on Saturday.


My sister drove part of the way.

When we got to the party, my mom and all of her friends were there, along with the--now adult--hippie children.

I didn't know until I got there that they had hired a stripper. Imagine enjoying that with your mom and her friends.


He walked in dressed as a cop and proceeded to take his clothes off.


We were all ready with the money in our breasts.


He humped a few people while they were sitting down

AND


Even got them on the ground.


He was really proud of himself.

Thank God that was over early. I was drinking way too much trying to feel comfortable. I ended up crashing at my Uncle Dudie's house. Had breakfast and drove an hour north to visit my parents and my old friend Brett.


I was greeted by my dad's cat Snoop Dog.


And then I passed out.

Seriously, I didn't move until I left on Monday afternoon back to SF.

Quite a strange and unexpected weekend.

Broken Down Palace

I hated that movie, but this article totally reminded me of it.

Read This.

And I Don't Know About You But...

All of this hippie boho crap is starting to really piss me off this season.

It doesn't work with my complexion....pale.

Dear Fay,

This is what a Mexican house dress looks like:




You like?

Music Makes The People Come Together...

As you can tell, I am singing a Madonna song in my head. And I have no idea why.

Hmmm......mmmm....

Maybe it is because someone stumped me last night at the killer Still Flyin' show at Cafe du Nord. Yoshi is a frickin awesome drummer.

Where was I? Daydreaming....

Oh yeah, so this person-- I will call him Darth Martin-- asked me what was new in the music scene (indie music to be exact). I stared at him and muttered Bloc Party and although there are a gazillion other bands that I love that are newish to me, I have no idea what the last year gave us in the music scene...I mean, I thought about local acts and...and.... brain hiccup.

So, kindly help me make a list of the best of 2004/2005:

1. Joanna Newsom

I AM...

bored.
content.
overwhelmed.

News:

Brittany and her loser husband suck my butt.

Jessica and her lame husband Nick made E Online! take down a report that claimed Jessica had filed for a divorce.

My friend Alex(Alejandro)'s Band, Death of Party, is opening for Bloc Party soon (Next week maybe). Can you frickin believe it?!

My Man Got a Little Write-up

I say Bravo Yosh Yosh



Seattle Weekly
NOTABLE SHOWS
May 25-31, 2005

Monday, May 30

Still Flyin'
Comprised of upward of 10 (membership tends to vary) San Franciscan indie rockers, Still Flyin' feature trombone, vibraphone, and a bevy of backup vocals as well as the much-lauded drumming of former Aisler's Set member Yoshi Nakamoto. Chop Suey, 9 p.m. $7

Missing: Short-Term Memory

I suffer from short-term memory loss every time I drink. So, either I'm an alcoholic-- which is a possibility-- or, I am showing the beginning signs of dementia. Sometimes I can't differentiate between memories that are real and those that are dreams. The other night, I apparently slapped a guy, spent 80 dollars on shots for everyone, puked and yet, I have absolutely no memory of the night. I woke up the next morning in a mexican house dress with a sore throat.

Question of the day: Should I stop the drinking?

It is a real possiblity that I am going to end up like one of those crazy old bats who calls the police because the pizza parlor won't deliver to her house. The next day, I'll be in a jail cell with no memory of the event.

Help me....

It appears that Burt Reynolds likes to slap people too...

Someone bid on this for me

1940s fox stole

Come And Meet My Guy

On Wednesday night (Tomorrow, for all you retards) Still Flyin' is playing a show at Cafe du Nord with Architecture in Helsinki. Come and meet my guy (after he's finished playin' drums...puhleese) so that you can tell him that I suck. Or, tell him that I'm too frickin good for him (JK!!!!!!). Whatever...just come.


Still Flyin'

It's All About The Converse

I looked on Fay's blog and she had this quiz on it. I have come to realize that me and Conor Oberst are soulmates. Now, let me vomit in my purse.



conor oberst (bright eyes): you and conor are
moodily intense. go to a corner and cry
together, pansies!

who's your indie rock boyfriend?
brought to you by

R.I.P Lil' Guy

I will shed a tear for you.

Rocks Yoda Does!

After work yesterday, I went to see the final episode of Star Wars. I had actually heard that the movie was pretty good, so I was excited to see it-- to piece everything together-- see how Annie becomes Darth Vadar--etc etc. Well, it was better than the other 2, but that isn't sayin' much. The dialogue was lame and everything was so goddamn dramatic. The best parts of the movie--1. the concession cart man's speech (BTW he won Best of the Bay for his speech) about how people are starving in the world, but we can feast, so join the feast and come to the concession cart and 2. Yoda's kick ass part in the film. Star Wars Episode III is really all about how cool Yoda is. And, well, that is about all.




So, after the movie, I went to eat some papusas on 16th and Valencia Streets when, all of the sudden I spotted Anton for Brian Jonestown Massacre. Did you see that movie Dig about The Dandy Warhols and BJM? If not, watch it-- and you will know why it is so cool to run into Anton on the street.

For Some Reason, This Makes Perfect Sense

MADONNA URGES FANS TO PRAY FOR KYLIE
Pop superstar Madonna has urged fans to pray for Kylie Minogue, who is battling breast cancer.
The Material Girl posted a personal message on her official Web site Madonna.com, in which she insists Minogue will conquer the deadly disease.

The message reads, "I was saddened to learn about Kylie Minogue's breast cancer diagnosis. I'm so grateful that they found it early. Yet another reminder for all women to have annual mammograms.

"Aside from being tremendously talented, Kylie's a fighter and I know this is a battle she will win. Let's all pray for her speedy recovery and send all of our best wishes her way. With love and light to you Kylie ... Madonna

Lions, and Tigers, and MIdgets, Oh My!

This shit is gonna freak you out.

New Best Friend

Should I add this guy to my myspace friend list?

--Caution if opening at work--

OMG--Grackles Attack

So, I've always had a thing for black birds-- starting with the fact that my grandpa's flight name is "Blackie." Next, I was raised on the Beatles and always adored the song "Blackbird"-- I mean, who doesn't. Then, there was that time when I was grounded for 3 months and memorized all the words to Edgar Allen Poe's Raven poem. By the way, Ravens, not Crows, are probably the most intelligent bird out there, so, beware. And, the movie "The Birds," by Alfred Hitchcock, was absolutely wonderful. I mean, how freaky to be attacked by black birds--plotting birds.

Then, I moved to Austin were I was first introduced to the Grackle. It took me a long time to even figure out what kind of black bird lived in the trees lining the mall parking lots. There were thousands of them. Whenever they moved to another tree, the sky would turn black. I knew that if they every decided to attack, I would probably die a horrible, tortured, bloody death. I have heard that birds (especially Ravens) will plot to kill, so, I was always afraid to go to the Austin malls.

Today, on CNN, I read an article that brought back all of my Austin memories.

HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- Like a scene from the horror movie "The Birds," large black grackles are swooping down on downtown Houston and attacking people's heads, hair and backs.

Jesus. Thank god I left Texas.


BTW-- Did anyone watch the Brittany show on UPN last night?!! I couldn't believe how much she talked about humping-- I mean, I could, but I didn't want to hear it.

And-- I got a frickin boot on my car....and guess what....I have 3 days to fork over 690 dollars. Most of the time when I mention this fact to people, trying to get sympathy for being an idiot, they mention The Simpsons episode where Homer gets a boot on his car in New York City. Here's an exerpt:

Pleasant Female Voice: Thank you for calling the Parking Violations Bureau. To plead 'Not Guilty' press one now.
(Homer presses one)
Pleasant Female Voice: Thank You. Your call has been...
Gruff Male Voice: Rejected.
Pleasant Female Voice: You will be assessed the full fine, plus a small...
Gruff Male Voice: Large lateness penalty.
Pleasant Female Voice: Please wait by your vehicle between the hours of nine A.M. and five P.M. for Parking Officer Steve...
Gruff Male Voice: Grabowski.

And-- I lost my cell phone. So if you want to call me, wait until Friday when I switch service to Verizon and get a new camera phone. I'm keeping the same number tho.

Deer _______,

I was browsing the internet today and managed to find two deer-centric things:

1. Ceramics are officially IN! Well, I knew that, but this one won my heart, fast...


2. There is a game online where the deer (I am assuming that it is a buck) hunts the hunter. Download it here.

The Turtles Are Real!!!!!!

Ever watch Finding Nemo? The coolest part was the sea turtle scene. They made them sound like surfers. I found that a little lame, but when you consider where you find the old men, it makes sense. In Hawai'i, there were real live turtles in the water. I saw one.



I still didn't get to swim with the turtles. Read Fay's blog to hear about that experience. It is a shame that I left the Island early.

The Lightbulb Hovering Above My Head Is Officially On.

You know what? If Little Timi Lugo had his own blog, it would be sweet. I imagine that I would look at his blog every hour on the hour and giggle until I shit my pants and honestly believe that life is wonderful...but alas, he has no blog. Still, I feel lucky/important enough to be on his "forwards" list. Thank you Tim. Thank you for the smiles.

Today's lesson from Tim:

"Dog fighting is for wimps, look what you need to have for some street cred in Nigeria."





Apparently the hyemas fight the baboons.

I Am Laughing....

This is my personal trainer at Crunch....Help....

Kidz Bop Just Got Better

Oh my God. Can it really be true? Children singing Modest Mouse songs? I am horrified and giggling uncontrollably at the beauty of it all!

listen

Float On.
Scroll down to listen if the song doesn't start playing immediately.

For "Trixie"

Yes Trixie, I mean, Tony, this is for you!

Naked Peeps

Last night I was sitting on my couch when, all of the sudden, I noticed two fat naked people across the street. Gross. Especially when you add that to all the fat naked people I saw at the gym before I got home. Yes, I joined a gym. Apparently I have put on a few pounds during the last few months. The barista at Bean There pointed out - yesterday, as well- that my ass was "swollen". Yes, he used that word. So, in addition to exercise, I am on a no beer diet. That means, whiskey only, for awhile.

Yoshi and I have been addicted to HBO's Deadwood show. OMG! It is SO good. We decided to take a shot of whiskey every time one of the characters used the word "cocksucker" and quickly realized that we would be shitfaced after one episode. We decided to sip instead. Also, I am planning a trip to the real Deadwood for their 69 dolla hotel deal. I think they even give you a little spending limit for the card tables.

"maam...we aren't going down there to enforce your cheeseburger"

Courtesy of Timoteo Lugo.

616 Is The New 666

The Independent, London

01 May 2005 Revelation! 666 is not the number of the beast (it's a devilish 616)

By Tom Anderson

A newly discovered fragment of the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament indicates that, as far as the Antichrist goes, theologians, scholars, heavy metal groups, and television evangelists have got the wrong number. Instead of 666, it's actually the far less ominous 616.

The new fragment from the Book of Revelation, written in ancient Greek and dating from the late third century, is part of a hoard of previously unintelligible manuscripts discovered in historic dumps outside Oxyrhynchus in Egypt. Now a team of expert classicists, using new photographic techniques, are finally deciphering the original writing.

Professor David Parker, Professor of New Testament Textual Criticism and Paleography at the University of Birmingham, thinks that 616, although less memorable than 666, is the original. He said: "This is an example of gematria, where numbers are based on the numerical values of letters in people's names. Early Christians would use numbers to hide the identity of people who they were attacking: 616 refers to the Emperor Caligula."

The Book of Revelation is traditionally considered to be written by John, a disciple of Jesus; it identifies 666 as the mark of the Antichrist. In America, the fundamentalist Christian right often use the number in sermons about the coming Apocalypse.

They and satanists responded coolly to the new "Revelation". Peter Gilmore, High Priest of the Church of Satan, based in New York, said: "By using 666 we're using something that the Christians fear. Mind you, if they do switch to 616 being the number of the beast then we'll start using that."

------------


Right on!

I'm back!

I just got back yesterday from the land of Hawai'i. I stayed with Fay and her family at the Hapuna Beach Prince Hotel. See below:




It was a very fancy place. I don't think I'll ever have enough money to travel like that again. Thank you, thank you Fay's family! And, I cannot even explain how awesome it is to hang out with a family of New Yorkers on the beaches of Hawai'i. Fucking brilliant!

As for the island, it was half lava rock and half rainforest. My favorite parts of the trip were: sea turtles, coffee fields, donkeys (I didn't actually see them), frogs, Pele, and the 1960s-ish Lu'au. I felt like Elvis was going to pop out at any moment and sing. Good Times.