Sherry and I...

have become really gay here. We have held hands lots...walking thru the jungle...sleeping...you name it.

While at Iguazu, when Sherry, Set and I were getting a drink at the Sheraton, Set tells us to go hold hands in front of the waterfalls so that he can take a picture. He just wanted to capture our intimacy officially. So Sweet. But kinda gay too.

Things to remember about BsAs

mullets.
rattails.
all the mexicans are really bolivians.
there is no such thing as spicey.
watch your wallet. there are pickpocketers everywhere. ask set.
i love gauchos.
intestines can be really good...but i haven't had those ones.
my apartment is a dive.
i miss dive bars.
angry and uptight bartenders are happier on vicadin.
don pedrons are still really fucking good.
i am sick of the "ll" sounding like a zh sound.
i hate the garage across the street.
i can't wait till my bowels heal.

I'm a little sad

Last night the chef at the resto-bar downstairs asked Sherry and I what year we were born...as in...year of the (rat, monkey, rooster...). Sherry said that she is a Monkey and I said that I am a Dragon. Sherry smiled and said that most of her friends are Dragons...

Well, then chef tells me that it is something really special and I should be proud to be a Dragon. I have heard all this crap before, by the way. And then tells me that this is my last life. Apparently, Buddha and his peeps believe that when someone is born in the year of the Dragon, they have reached their last reincarnated life. They are the oldest living souls.

So you know what this means? This is it!! THIS!!

Or, they are all completely full of shit.

Drinks...

Before I leave this place...

I just want to post a few pictures/memories from my many adventures. I haven't had my camera with me lately, so the pictures are from earlier trips. And Sherry and I always look really fucked up...cuz you see, it was either hot or we were drunk.


One of my favorite days in Colonia San Pellegrini (some town in the middle of nowhere surrounded by marshes) was the day that Set got chased by a donkey. I couldn't stop laughing....and it was so hot. He could barely push the donkey off of him.


Here are the marshes and one of the birds that we saw:


and the bug that Set threw at Sherry's face....oh the bugs...i cannot even begin to tell you how many fucking bugs there were:

Party Update

So, the party with Dada happened. Sherry and I met up with a few Americans and their Argentinian friends for drinks at 12:30am. This was after going to see Brian Storming- my friend Maddi's boyfriends band.

So, 12:30....the people don't show up. We call and they are on their way. They end up showing up at like 1:30am and then want to get a drink. Sherry and I were already annoyed at this point...for waiting and making our friends at the party wait for us. So at almost 3am, Clayton, the guy throwing the party, shows up at the bar to make sure that people are coming. Sherry and I round up "the troups" and start to go. Everyone we are with--cuz they were hipper than thou-- decide to leave and ditch the party. Everyone, that is, except on guy named Alex. Some tight pants, facial haired hipster from Brown University.

Well, the party was pretty mellow at first. Clayton and Toby were already drunk. I felt really bad for not showing up earlier.

Sherry and I started drinking..heavily..and within an hour, the entire bar plus every client there showed up. Soon I was dancing tango...with some perv who poked me with his boner in the stomach. That grossed me out, but did not, fortunately, ruin my night. The rest of the evening was spent talking...in three languages. Mostly in French and Spanish, with a little English thrown in. Mostly I just dropped some "fucks" and "shits" to spice up the conversations.

We got home at 7am.

Ok. I can't think of much else...

Except, a dog tried to hump my leg yesterday. In fact, it carried a towel over to my leg, covered my leg with it and proceeded to try to hop on. Luckily, the owner, an artist named Analis Massa, pulled the dog off me.

You Tube

I know that everyone is on the You Tube train. But for good reason. You can find everything!!! And so, today, out of pure boredom, I found my favorite animation short. Here it is...from Don Hertzfeldt's short "Rejected":

Look Kids--We shat out Capybaras!

Ok, here's the story-- I think we ate these guys. We had some very strange "meat" at our hotel. I don't think it was beef. Rodent, perhaps? Swamp hog?

But here are Sherry and I pretending to shit them out. Yes, we were that close to them. And aren't they fucking cute?!!!

For more information on these animals, check out this site:

http://www.rebsig.com/capybara/

And tomorrow is our big "going away" party. Actually, we're not moving...but nobody cares about that little detail.

more bariloche

Here are some pictures from our hike in the mountains. I wrote about it earlier. Thought I would post some pictures. Keep in mind that these are Sherry's photos and so she seems to be missing from them. I have about 500 pictures of this trip that have yet to be uploaded from my camera. Sherry is in most of them.

the mate series in bariloche

peninsula valdez

penguin

armadillo

it's fall here

i'm really cold today. and i have a cold. it blows. it is the first time since i've been here that i've needed to wear jeans and a turtleneck. but it really might be because i've got a cold.

and this week is semana santo. that means everyone is on vacation or doing family things and lots of stuff is closed. our bar downstairs, thankfully, is not.

i haven't seen the gay jewelry maker, coco, in some time. he avoids me like the plague now. i thank alejandra for that. she's the waitress who is trying to learn english...her phrases are limited to "get the fuck outta here" and "shit clowns" . the second phrase, however, makes absolutely no sense. we try and tell her that, but she loves saying it.

i did find out that coco's girlfriend, coca, is a prostitute. i think that colin guessed that one. coco, however, refuses to believe that this is actually true. the owner of dada-- who we call K Fed cuz he resembles Brittany Spears' husband- has tried to tell coco about coca's ways. but coco is crazy and can't believe such lies.

also, coco is dying--or so the story goes-- he has been drinking, at a minimum, 2 bottles of champagne a night for 20 years. about 2 years ago, his doctor told him that his liver was shot and that he only had about 5 years to live if he continued to drink the way he does. coco ignored this warning and now the entire bar is just watching and waiting for the inevitable. i find this all a little sad.

my 60 year old, robert sanchez deniro, has also started to avoid me. i am thankful for that too. the people in the bar hate him, but he is a neighbor and he spends money there, so what can they do.

last night, out of pure boredom and because sherry and i detest our apartment and it's lively cockroaches, we went to visit our friends at dada. the owner has asked us to throw a party this week because we are planning on moving, but we don't have very many friends and are a little embarrassed about that. luckily, k fed introduced us to this pseudo intellectual named clayton. clayton is some young "writer" living in argentina and is so uber pretentious that it makes me giggle. he's young though. 23. i have met many people like him back in the day and i know that he will grow up to be bitter and poor and dirty. too much whiskey oozing from his pores and too many cigarettes on his breath.

clayton told us that he is willing to host our "going away" party next friday. not to worry about the lack of friends, because he will find them for us. k fed is bringing the booze and inviting alejandra, the chef and coco. we agreed to all of this because we have nothing better to do and it was kind of a weird proposal. i'll let you know how it turns out.

when i come home....i wanna party.

i am not sure when my return date is. there are some things that i need to figure out. however, i thought i'd list the things that i miss or i totally don't want again so that you can prepare for my homecoming party.

things i am so over:

hearts of palm
carrots
meat
french fries
coffee that tastes like dirt
rat tails
cockroaches
canned peaches
salads that only include one vegetable
anything pickled
anything canned
the queen of england
clothes that are too small
my belly

things i can't get enough of:
here:

chocolate ice cream and whiskey- el don pedron
meat
mint
lemon ice cream
fresh strawberrys and whipped cream

at home:
vegetables
fruit
cous cous
fish
good fucking coffee
pepper
spices
mexican food
anything that is remotely ethnic-esque food
corndogs.
Music music music music music
tomato soup

I'm a tard!

So, I went to the US Embassy today to take the State Department exam....which should be really easy, but there were many questions in the political section that I did not know....guess that is what I get for not using my education. I'll find out the results in July. I definitely plan on studying next year....cuz I'll probably be taking it again.

On my way home I walked past a Gaucho party....that is what I'm gonna call it for now....and after speaking with Selenne and Colin, we've decided that we're gonna try and see a rodeo tomorrow.

Today, we rented bikes and rode around the Ecological Reserve. All in all, a nice Saturday.

Oh yeah, did I mention this before? We went to the Zoo here. Oh my God, it is fucking ridiculous. There are animals running wild in that place...and you can feed the monkeys and the zebras and the elephants and the hippos and every animal. I got really scared when a goat started chasing us around the park and a camel tried to climb over his 3 foot high fence to get to me.... And, there were so many animals missing limbs! What the fuck?! That place is so surreal. I highly recommend it.

I am so over beef by the way. I can't eat another steak...I am gonna puke....and again, my spanish is total shit, Today a guy asked me for my apellido and I just stood there confused....apellido is last name- that is how retarded I have become.

I think that someone needs to save me.

Tierra Santo

I went to San Telmo today. Totally like walking down memory lane.....remember when my passport was stolen???

After San Telmo, Fay and I went to Tierra Santo...dude... a theme park devoted to Jesus. What the fuck. We took some pictures but had to stop because everything was about the fuckin crucifixion....again, what the fuck. We did, however, get some nice professional photos taken with a Jesus the size of King Kong.

And, I ate some lomo.

See ya.