Chuckle My Orto

After 3 weeks with boys, Sherry and I decided to have girls night out. We took a cab to our favorite restaurant in Palermo Hollywood. Wednesdays are 30% off for women only tables. Lomo, wine, sides, and postries came out to 55 pesos. yum yum. Problem: we took laxatives earlier in the night and unfortunately forgot until we were sitting at the dinner table. My tummy started grumbling and after I gave Sherry the ohshit look, she yelled "go to the bathroom!" So, with lomo in my mouth, I ran.

About an hour later and while waiting for someone to give us the check, our neighbors started yelling at the manager of the restaurant. We couldn't quite understand what was happening, but it sounded like there was a hair in their gnocchi. The manager was screaming at them about respecting Argentines and the crowd at the restaurant looked totally stunned. Sherry--I think she was drunk-- started yelling in English "I wish I knew what they were saying, this is awesome!" Sherry wanted to start a brawl of her own by letting the management know that our gellato wasn't the right flavor and I firmly said NO!

We paid soon after the fighting had ended and decided to walk a little of the lomo off. We walked for maybe 10 blocks and the entire way we were harassed. Set had mentioned that men like to stare us down when we walk around, but neither of us had noticed it before. The day that Set left, we decided to take notice of the people around us. Set was so right. Men, young and old, stare at us and give us the love eyes. Well, now we can't avoid noticing. It is starting to freak me out a little and last night, while Sherry and I were walking, men would follow us in their cars and it got so bad that we we had to run and hide in a doorway. At a certain point, Sherry was like "'fuck this" and decided that she would just yell back.

She said:

"chuckle my orto"
"my orto has poo in it....you like that don't you!"
"you wanna chuckle your mom's orto"

BTW--- Choclo del orto means corn hole. Sherry and Sach heard some little shithead kid in Trelew screaming it at some other kids. On a side note, Sherry decided to scream that at everyone she encountered in Trelew including a police officer. When we found out what the phrase meant, I laughed and laughed. Fucking Sherry.

So, Sherry and I decided to take a cab home from Palermo. We got out a block away from our building and walked down our street and in front of our downstairs bar, Dada. The owner was sitting in the window and waved as we passed. I said to Sherry "hey, K Fed just waved." She wanted to go back to see him and stood in the doorway were she noticed my 60 year old looking at her. He then turned his head, spotted me and waved. I screamed to Sherry " Fucking run!" We ran to our doorway....I found the keys....opened the first door....Sherry was behind me....I ran to the second door and opened it with the keys and started running to the elevator. Sherry must have turned back or something because she ended up being locked between the first and second doors. As I was pushing the elevator call button I heard her screaming "Neshemah, come back!" and I turned around and the 60 year old was at the first door pounding loudly over and over again. I opened the second door and freed Sherry who felt like "Monkey in the Middle" and told her to run to the elevator. As we got in, I heard the old man talking with someone outside. I was convinced that he was trying to get in the building to chase me....I was freaking out.

Sherry and I made it safely to our floor and had a couple glasses of whiskey and finished pooing.